The Top 20 Things NO WOMAN Should Wear After 30
1. Untested jetpack
2. Meat tunic in feral dog country
3. Twigs superglued to body in shape of dress
4. High heels if you’re getting chased in a horror movie
5. Deer costume in the woods during hunting season
6. Shirt made of wasps
7. Full suit of armor in the pool
8. Fake bomb vest at airport
9. Necklace made out of human ears
10. A sampler of endangered animal skins
11. Cursed amulets
12. Mohair sweater that is currently on fire
13. Police uniform that you stole from a police officer
14. The One Ring
15. Anything covered in chum
16. Fur accessories such as live pet hyenas
17. Glitter eye shadow that contains botfly pheromones
18. Loafers that are actually just dead seagulls you jammed your feet into
19. Leaky backpack full of Cream of Mushroom soup
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