Originally performed by Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and Sammy Davis Jr. for the movie "Robin and the 7 Hoods" in 1964, "Mr. Booze" was hilariously remade by Seth McFarlane for an episode of "Family Guy"
Mr. Booze
Audience: Mr Booze
Mr. Booze
Peter: Mr Booze
Audience: Mr Booze
Peter: Mr Booze
Mr B Double O Z E
Brian & Bruce: That sure spells booze
Peter: You will wind up wearing tattered shoes, if you mess with Mr. Booze
Brian & Bruce: Don't mess with Mr. Booze
Audience: Don't mess with Mr. Booze
Peter: Don't mess with Mr. B-Double O-Z-E
If you been so stiff they thought you died
You'll feel better once you've testified
Audience: Testify
Bruce: Oh yeah!
Audience: Testify
Audience: Testify
Bruce: I wanna testify, I wanna testify!
Peter: Well then cleanse yourself my son, cleanse yourself!
Bruce: One time I took a library book out and I fells asleep reading it and I left it under the bed. I forgot about it for three and a half years. I was gonna take it back on Amnesty Day, but on Amnesty Day I had a sip of Rosé wine and I never made it out of the house
Peter: Who's to blame?
Audience: Who's to blame?
Peter: What's his name?
Audience: We know his name, his name is
Mr. Booze
Mr. Booze
Mr. B-Double O-Z-E don't ever choose
Any game you play with him, you'll lose, so don't mess with Mr. Booze!
Peter: If your head feels like it's two miles wide
Audience: Two miles wide!
Peter: You'll feel better once you've testified
Audience: Testified
Brian: Oh Yeah
Audience: Testify
Carl: I wanna testify, I wanna testify!
Peter: Well come forward dear brother and testify!
Carl: I used to be a soda pop guy. Then I switched to the bottle. Now I don't leave my couch and I've seen every movie ever. You name a movie, I've seen it
Audience: Meet Dave
Carl: Seen it
Audience: The Eiger Sanction
Carl: Seen it
Audience: Donovan's Reef
Carl: Seen it
Audience: License to Drive!
Carl: Definitely seen it
Peter, Bruce & Brian: That's a shame
Audience: What a shame
Peter, Bruce & Brian: Who's to blame
Audience: for Corey Haim?
His name is
Audience: What's his name?
His name is
Mr. Booze
Mr. Booze
Mr. B-Double O-Z-E you must refuse
You'll make the obituary news
If you mess with Mr. Booze
If you've been so stiff they'd thought you died
You'll feel better once you've testified
Testify
Testify
Tom Tucker: This man wants to testify
Peter: Very well my brother
Let us lead him on the path of righteousness
Tom: This poor gentleman used to speak in long, eloquent sentences. But after years of drinking he can only speak in short, choppy utterances.
Why, at one time, if you asked him who his favorite musicians were he'd say Leonard Bernstein, Johan Sebastian Bach and Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. But thanks to that old devil hooch, it's all changed
Who's your favorite musician, Ollie?
Ollie: Cher!
Tom: He doesn't even like Cher
Brian: Now alcohol makes a big man small
And can lead to a life of crime
Audience: Yeah!
Bruce: Demon rum makes a gent a bum
And cash in before your time
Audience: Yeah!
Dr. Hartman: Bootleg gin puts you in a spin
Till you don't even know your name
Audience: Yeah!
Peter: You're a basket case flat on your face
And there's only one guy to blame
Audience: Mr. B-Double O-Z-E
Mr. Booze
Mr. Booze
Mr. B-Double O-Z-E Don't ever choose
Peter: You will wind up wearing tattered shoes
If you mess with Mr. Booze
Audience: Don't mess with Mr. Booze
Peter: Oh Mr. Booze
Audience: Don't mess with Mr. Booze
Peter: Oh Mr. Booze
Audience: Don't mess with Mr. Booze
Brian: Don't mess with B-Double O-Z-E
'Cause that spells booze
And your gonna lose with Mr. Booze
Audience: Oh, Yeah!
Brian: Don't mess around with Mr. Booze
Audience: Don't mess with Mr. Booze
Bruce: That's what he said now
Audience: Don't mess with Mr. Booze
Peter: Oh Mr. Booze
Audience: Don't mess with Mr. Booze
Don't mess with Mr. ...
Don't mess with Mr. ...
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Don't mess with ah-ah
Oh Mr. Booze
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Brian & Bruce: That sure spells booze
Peter: You will wind up wearing tattered shoes, if you mess with Mr. Booze
Brian & Bruce: Don't mess with Mr. Booze
Audience: Don't mess with Mr. Booze
Peter: Don't mess with Mr. B-Double O-Z-E
If you been so stiff they thought you died
You'll feel better once you've testified
Audience: Testify
Bruce: Oh yeah!
Audience: Testify
Audience: Testify
Bruce: I wanna testify, I wanna testify!
Peter: Well then cleanse yourself my son, cleanse yourself!
Bruce: One time I took a library book out and I fells asleep reading it and I left it under the bed. I forgot about it for three and a half years. I was gonna take it back on Amnesty Day, but on Amnesty Day I had a sip of Rosé wine and I never made it out of the house
Peter: Who's to blame?
Audience: Who's to blame?
Peter: What's his name?
Audience: We know his name, his name is
Mr. Booze
Mr. Booze
Mr. B-Double O-Z-E don't ever choose
Any game you play with him, you'll lose, so don't mess with Mr. Booze!
Peter: If your head feels like it's two miles wide
Audience: Two miles wide!
Peter: You'll feel better once you've testified
Audience: Testified
Brian: Oh Yeah
Audience: Testify
Carl: I wanna testify, I wanna testify!
Peter: Well come forward dear brother and testify!
Carl: I used to be a soda pop guy. Then I switched to the bottle. Now I don't leave my couch and I've seen every movie ever. You name a movie, I've seen it
Audience: Meet Dave
Carl: Seen it
Audience: The Eiger Sanction
Carl: Seen it
Audience: Donovan's Reef
Carl: Seen it
Audience: License to Drive!
Carl: Definitely seen it
Peter, Bruce & Brian: That's a shame
Audience: What a shame
Peter, Bruce & Brian: Who's to blame
Audience: for Corey Haim?
His name is
Audience: What's his name?
His name is
Mr. Booze
Mr. Booze
Mr. B-Double O-Z-E you must refuse
You'll make the obituary news
If you mess with Mr. Booze
If you've been so stiff they'd thought you died
You'll feel better once you've testified
Testify
Testify
Tom Tucker: This man wants to testify
Peter: Very well my brother
Let us lead him on the path of righteousness
Tom: This poor gentleman used to speak in long, eloquent sentences. But after years of drinking he can only speak in short, choppy utterances.
Why, at one time, if you asked him who his favorite musicians were he'd say Leonard Bernstein, Johan Sebastian Bach and Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. But thanks to that old devil hooch, it's all changed
Who's your favorite musician, Ollie?
Ollie: Cher!
Tom: He doesn't even like Cher
Brian: Now alcohol makes a big man small
And can lead to a life of crime
Audience: Yeah!
Bruce: Demon rum makes a gent a bum
And cash in before your time
Audience: Yeah!
Dr. Hartman: Bootleg gin puts you in a spin
Till you don't even know your name
Audience: Yeah!
Peter: You're a basket case flat on your face
And there's only one guy to blame
Audience: Mr. B-Double O-Z-E
Mr. Booze
Mr. Booze
Mr. B-Double O-Z-E Don't ever choose
Peter: You will wind up wearing tattered shoes
If you mess with Mr. Booze
Audience: Don't mess with Mr. Booze
Peter: Oh Mr. Booze
Audience: Don't mess with Mr. Booze
Peter: Oh Mr. Booze
Audience: Don't mess with Mr. Booze
Brian: Don't mess with B-Double O-Z-E
'Cause that spells booze
And your gonna lose with Mr. Booze
Audience: Oh, Yeah!
Brian: Don't mess around with Mr. Booze
Audience: Don't mess with Mr. Booze
Bruce: That's what he said now
Audience: Don't mess with Mr. Booze
Peter: Oh Mr. Booze
Audience: Don't mess with Mr. Booze
Don't mess with Mr. ...
Don't mess with Mr. ...
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Don't mess with ah-ah
Oh Mr. Booze
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
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