SHOC

SHOC
Discerning content for Bad Hombres and Nasty Women

Saturday, June 30, 2018

Timeline of the Far Future

(poke the pic with your pointy thing to biggify)




Firefly/Serenity Quotes


A discussion between a couple of old bills...

A well-worn one-dollar bill and a similarly distressed twenty-dollar bill arrived at a Federal Reserve Bank to be retired. As they moved along the conveyor belt to be burned, they struck up a conversation.

The twenty-dollar bill reminisced about its travels all over the country. "I've had a pretty good life," the twenty proclaimed. "Why I've been to Las Vegas and Atlantic City, the finest restaurants in New York, performances on Broadway, and even a cruise to the Caribbean."


"Wow!" said the one-dollar bill. "You've really had an exciting life!"


"So tell me," says the twenty, "where have you been throughout your lifetime?"


The one-dollar bill replies, "Oh, I've been to the Methodist Church, the Baptist Church, the Presbyterian church, the Lutheran Church..."


The twenty-dollar bill interrupted and asked, "What's a church?"

Never skip leg day




(via)

Some ideas on how to mess with people


One Poster, 171 Stephen King References

Do you consider yourself a Stephen King fan? How many of his books have you read? Only a detail-oriented superfan will be able to find all the references in this artwork. Artist Jordan Monsell created this crowded poster of a creepy, chaotic scene, which is only appropriate since it's all about the stories of Stephen King. 

If you want a key to all click here



(Thanks, Miss  C)

Thursday, June 28, 2018

Okay, HERE'S a realistic punch...

"You'll be laughing on the other side of your face!"



(via)


I, for one, welcome our new octopi overlords...




(via)

Random Thoughts

I don’t live in Missouri, but I have a great idea for their State Motto which would help promote tourism. Instead of “The Show Me State,” they should go with “Missouri Loves Company”

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Apparently, the best way to flirt with your dental hygienist does not involve massaging her gloved fingers with your tongue.

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The hardest part of having a supermodel for a girlfriend is telling all the other girls you've been dating that you can't see them anymore. Luckily, I always wake up before it gets to that point.

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I understand now why Habitat for Humanity won’t ever let me come back, but I honestly thought the saying was "Measure twice, cut one."

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Some people just don't seem to care about national security. I keep trying to tell my neighbor that according to the Patriot Act, you're not supposed to pull down your window shades down at night, but she doesn't believe me.

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If someone ever invented a low-fat, vitamin-filled vegetable that tasted like fudge-covered Rice Krispies treats, I'd probably start eating a lot healthier.

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I thought I was a stigmatic until I looked it up. "Stigmata" means "having bodily marks or pains resembling the wounds of the crucified Christ." It turns out that when you get a lot of red bumps on your ass, that's just called a "rash."

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Word to the Wise: A barrel full of monkeys isn't fun for very long if there aren't any air holes.

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I'm so old, I remember when an AOL e-mail address was cool.

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The beauty of TV Land is being able revisit the programs I revered during my youth, often relishing the quaintness of what entertained us back then. That, and shaking my head at the fact we believed that "L" on Penny Marshall's costumes actually stood for "Laverne."

THROWBACK THURSDAY - "I wonder if this would work for a color blind person...?"

(originally published on October 9, 2012)


Okay, you look at the negative image, and then after 30 seconds or so, the photo of a plaza will appear . Even though the plaza you see is gray-scaled (black and white), your eyes are tricked and image looks like it’s in full-color (until you move your eyes)


Here's another one...

Okay, I understand the science behind this, but it always sort of creeps me out... 



(via)

Do You Get It? (18-2)

1.

 2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8

9.

10.






For the answers, drag your cursor between the asterisks:



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1. Downright offensive
2. Encourage mint
3. Everything is under control
4. Fish tank
5. Moist owlet
6. Spoiled milk
7. Support bras
8. The clam before the storm
9. Things are getting out of hand
10. World peas

(I know. It's way too early for this shit, isn't it?)

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