The Bro Code

Article 1
If two bros know the same story, the bro who is lesser-known among the party or group shall tell it.

Article 2
If your bro has a girlfriend, be completely nice to her. If he asks for your honest opinion, be straight up about your thoughts.

Article 3
Never drink the last beer at another bro’s house.

Article 4
If your bro dies during a workout, throw a couple more 45s on the bar before you call 911.

Article 5
If your bro dies and you have a chance to destroy his hard drive, you must do it.

Article 6
Older bros are a resource. Find a chief and accept his wisdom. This will make you a better bro.

Article 7
Don’t throw a bro under the bus to impress others.

Article 8
You shall provide pizza and beers for any bros who help you move.

Article 9
If a bro borrows your tools, they best return them in the same condition they were in when you got them, or better. Also applies to vehicles and musical instruments.

Article 10
Thou shalt not hit your bro in the balls and claim it was a joke.

Article 11
If a bro is telling a story and you can “one-up” it, don’t.

Article 12
If you happen to know a bro’s girlfriend or wife is cheating on him, you let him know. Doesn’t matter if you barely know the guy; at least drop an anonymous hint.

Article 13
We were all that bro trying to get into a group of friends. We weren’t born with the bros we have. Let another bro at least hang around with your group.

Article 14
Your favorite beer is free. Your second-favorite beer is cold. If your bro offers a beer, don’t bitch that it isn’t your brand

Article 15
Up for acknowledgement, down for respect.

Article 16
No one should ever refer to it as “The Bro Code” out loud.

Article 17
No matter how great your relationship with your girlfriend is, you won’t completely abandon your bros to hang out with her all the time and then come crawling back after she dumps you.

Article 18
Thou shalt never speak of your friend’s sexual conquests to your significant other.

Article 19
Urinal Laws: Never take the urinal directly beside someone else if there are any others available.

Article 20
One bro’s sister is another bro’s sister.