Tunesmith Tuesday - "You Can Call Me Al" by Paul Simon

"You Can Call Me Al"

A man walks down the street

He says, "Why am I soft in the middle now?

Why am I soft in the middle?

The rest of my life is so hard

I need a photo opportunity

I want a shot at redemption

Don't want to end up a cartoon

In a cartoon graveyard"

Bonedigger, bonedigger

Dogs in the moonlight

Far away my well-lit door

Mr. Beerbelly, Beerbelly

Get these mutts away from me

You know I don't find this stuff

Amusing anymore

If you'll be my bodyguard

I can be your long-lost pal

I can call you Betty

And Betty, when you call me

You can call me Al

A man walks down the street

He says, "Why am I short of attention?

Got a short little span of attention

And, woe my nights are so long

Where's my wife and family?

What if I die here?

Who'll be my role model

Now that my role model is

Gone gone?"

He ducked back down the alley

With some roly-poly little bat-faced girl

All along along

There were incidents and accidents

There were hints and allegations

If you'll be my bodyguard

I can be your long-lost pal

I can call you Betty

And Betty, when you call me

You can call me Al

Call me Al

A man walks down the street

It's a street in a strange world

Maybe it's the third world

Maybe it's his first time around

He doesn't speak the language

He holds no currency

He is a foreign man

He is surrounded by the sound, the sound

Cattle in the marketplace

Scatter-lings and orphanages

He looks around, around

He sees angels in the architecture

Spinning in infinity

He says, "Amen!" and "Hallelujah!"

If you'll be my bodyguard

I can be your long-lost pal

I can call you Betty

And Betty, when you call me

You can call me Al

Call me

Na na na na …

If you'll be my bodyguard

I can call you Betty

If you'll be my bodyguard

I can call you Betty

If you'll be my bodyguard ...