Between coffee and cocaine, it seems like the whole point of Columbia is to wake the rest of the world up.
~~~~~
As someone who cares deeply about the environment, I am obligated to pick you up.
Is seven okay?
~~~~~
Is an argument between two vegans still called a beef?
~~~~~
I’m sick of being the guy everyone comes to when they want the money I owe them.
~~~~~
I’m a fairly intelligent guy. Just not an “I’ll stop talking while I’m still ahead” intelligent guy.
~~~~~
WARNING: AdBlock makes you unattractive to women. I just installed it and now all the horny singles in my area have suddenly lost interest.
~~~~~
Some days I amaze myself.
Other days I search frantically for my phone while I’m holding it.
~~~~~
I’m so embarrassed. Some guy with a stutter tried to tell me he was going over to visit his Nan, and by the end of it we were all singing “Hey, Jude” around the bar.
~~~~~
French kid going down a slide: “Yyyeeeeesss!!!”
~~~~~
When my girlfriend told me to stop impersonating a flamingo, I had to put my foot down
No comments:
Post a Comment