Random Status Updates

In these terrible times, we can at least take comfort that Glee isn’t preparing a Black Lives Matter episode with Rachel leading a rendition of This is America.

~~~~~

Hey! Guess who has 7 thumbs and just got fired from the morgue?

~~~~~

Has anyone tried putting 2020 in rice?

~~~~~

Growing up, Sesame Street taught me the importance of education, empathy, and kindness.
Bugs Bunny, on the other hand, taught me that revenge on my enemies should be quick, clever, and brutal.

~~~~~

Next-Gen Monopoly Pieces:
  - Starbucks cup
  - Prius
  - iPhone
  - COVID mask
  - Croc
  - Thimble (because we’ve made little progress in that area)

~~~~~

Show of hands: who’s ready for some precedented times?

~~~~~

Shout out to murder hornets for having the decency to be like, “Yeah, listen, we’ll come back when it’s more convenient for you”

~~~~~

I’m beginning to think that, “hindsight is 2020” was some kind of message from a future time traveler that we all misunderstood

~~~~~

Vampires aren’t real.
Unless you Count Dracula.

~~~~~

Okay, quick question: Do gun manuals have a troubleshooting section?