THROWBACK THURSDAY - "The Purple Flower"

(Originally published on April 8, 2013)

The Purple Flower

So there's this guy walking to school and on his way there he sees these two girls talking to each other. He drops in on their conversation and hears them talking about a purple flower.

He thinks to himself "Purple flower?" and stops to think about it. He realizes he's late for school and runs as fast as he can. So he gets to class and the teacher asks him, "Why are you late?" The guy says, "Well...I was walking to school and heard two girls talking about a purple flower, stopped to think about it, and realized I was late to school, and now I'm here!"

The teacher replies, "What?! Purple flower?! You're going to the Dean's Office!"

So the guy goes to the Dean's Office. The dean asks him, "Why are you here?" The guy says, "Well...I was walking to school and heard two girls talking about a purple flower, stopped to think about it, and realized I was late to school, the teacher sent me to the Dean's, and now I'm here!"

The dean replies, "What?! Purple flower?! You're going to the Principal's office!

So the guy reports to the Principal's office. The principal asks him, Why are you here?" The guy says, "Well...I was walking to school and heard two girls talking about a purple flower, stopped to think about it, and realized I was late to school, the teacher sent me to the Dean's, the dean sent me to the principal, and now I'm here!"

The principal replies, "What?! Purple flower?! You're expelled from the school!”

So the guy leaves the campus and heads on home. When he arrives, his father asks him, "Why are you here?" The guy says, "Well...I was walking to school and heard two girls talking about a purple flower, stopped to think about it, and realized I was late to school, the teacher sent me to the Dean's, the dean sent me to the principal, the principal expelled me, and now I'm here!" The father replies, "What?! Purple flower?! I disown you!" Now get out!”

So the guy leaves his house. While walking down the street, he notices a hobo. He approaches the hobo and the hobo asks him, "Why are you here?" The guy says, "Well...I was walking to school and heard two girls talking about a purple flower, stopped to think about it, and realized I was late to school, the teacher sent me to the Dean's, the dean sent me to the principal, the principal expelled me, my dad disowned me, and now I'm here!" The hobo replies, "What?! Purple flower?!"

At this point the hobo grabs a knife from nearby and stabs himself in the chest. So the guy freaks out and looks for help. He notices two cops in a car at the donut shop and says, "Officers, I need help! That hobo committed suicide!" The officers said, "Calm down, slow down, and tell us why you're here." The guy says, "Well...I was walking to school and heard two girls talking about a purple flower, stopped to think about it, and realized I was late to school, the teacher sent me to the Dean's, the dean sent me to the principal, the principal expelled me, my dad disowned me, the hobo killed himself, and now I'm here!"

The officer replies, "What?! Purple flower?! You are under arrest! We're taking you jail."

So the guy runs away from the police. As he's running, a man who overheard the story shouts across the street that he knows what the Purple Flower means. As the boy crosses the street, he gets hit by a car.

Moral of the Story: Always look both ways before you cross the street.


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