Doctor, doctor!

Doctor, doctor! I've broken my arm in two places.

Well don't go back there again then.

Doctor, doctor! will this ointment clear up my spots?

I never make rash promises.

Doctor, doctor! I keep chewing on my feather pillow.

You do look a little down in the mouth.

Doctor, doctor! your patient insists she's invisible.

Tell her I can't see her today.

Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm a goat.

How long have you felt like that?

Ever since I was a kid.

Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm a woodworm.

How boring for you.

Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm a nit.

Will you get out of my hair.

Doctor, doctor! I think I'm a moth.

Move, you’re in my light.

Doctor, doctor! I feel like a dog .

Sit!

Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm a frog.

What's wrong with that?

I think I'm going to croak.

Doctor, doctor! I keep forgetting things!

How long have you had this problem?

What problem?

Doctor, doctor! I think I'm a snail.

Don't worry we'll soon have you out of your shell.

Doctor, doctor! I think I'm an electric eel.

That's shocking.

Doctor, doctor! my husband smells like fish.

Poor sole.

Doctor, doctor! I've broken my leg. What shall I do?

Limp.

Doctor, doctor! I'm frightened of squirrels.

You must be nuts.

Doctor, doctor! my wife thinks she's a hen.

I'll soon cure her.

What - and lose all the eggs?

Doctor, doctor! I'm having trouble with my breathing.

I'll give you something that will soon put a stop to that!

Doctor, doctor! you've taken out my tonsils, my adenoids, my gall bladder, my varicose veins; and my appendix, but I still don't feel well.

That's quite enough out of you.

Doctor, doctor! I can't stop trembling.

I'll be with you in a couple of shakes.

Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing ringing in my ears.

Nonsense, you're as sound as a bell.

Doctor, doctor! sorry I'm late, I broke my ankle.

Another lame excuse.

Doctor, doctor! my mind keeps wandering.

Don't worry - it's too weak to go very far.

Doctor, doctor! what are my chances of losing weight?

Slim.

Doctor, doctor! what's the best way to stop my nose running?

Stand on your head.

Doctor, doctor! my daughter thinks she's an actress.

Don't worry - it's just a stage she's going through.

Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pack of cards.

I'll deal with you later.

Doctor, doctor! my husband thinks he's a parachutist.

Tell him to drop in and see me.

Doctor, doctor! my husband thinks he's Moses.

Tell him to stop taking the Tablets.

Doctor, doctor! my wife's hanging from the window sill.

Tell her to hold on.

Doctor, doctor! I'm a burglar!

Have you taken anything for it?

Doctor, doctor! I'm allergic to the high jump.

Don't worry - you'll soon get over it.

Doctor, doctor! I'm at death's door.

Don't worry - I'll pull you through.

Doctor, doctor! I'm only four feet tall.

You'll just have to be a little patient.

Doctor, doctor! I'm worried about my insomnia.

Don't lose any sleep over it.

Doctor, doctor! I can't stand 'All My Children' and 'General Hospital.

Try keeping off cereals for a while.

Doctor, doctor! I can't stop climbing mountains.

Relax, we'll soon have you in peak condition.

Doctor, doctor! I can't stop fishing.

Drop me a line when you're feeling better.

Doctor, doctor! I feel like a bucket.

You do look a little pail.

Doctor, doctor! I feel like a camera.

I'll be with you in a flash.

Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains.

Pull yourself together.

Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm a clock.

Don't worry - you're just a little wound up.

Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm a tennis racket.

Don't worry - you're just highly strung.

Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm an elevator.

You may coming going down with something.

Doctor, doctor! my little boy has just swallowed a roll of film.

Well lets just wait and see if anything develops.

Doctor, doctor! I think I'm going to die.

Don't be silly - that's the last thing you'll do.