SHOC

SHOC
Discerning content for Bad Hombres and Nasty Women

Tuesday, April 9, 2019

1000 Things You Don't Know About Women

No. 185: "Business casual": Easy for you, but bewildering for us.
Amy Keller, 27, Chicago 


No. 218: 
What makes our skin crawl: cell phone holsters, crocs (really?), and when you leave your stupid bluetooth earpiece in 24/7.
Kelly Greene, 35, San Diego


No. 279: 
We love hearing about your family. Even when it's boring, it's good to know you think about them.
Alessia Viscomi, 21, Newton, Massachusetts
No. 944: 
We kind of wish we could chest-bump, too.
Rose Farnsworth, 19, Nashville
No. 896: 
Not all of us envy the whole peeing-while-standing thing. Seems messy.
Nicole Lee, 31, San Francisco
No. 824: 
Be careful: singing to us can be totally cute. But only if you can actually sing.
Rose Farnsworth, 19, Nashville
No. 798: 
When we say "He was so great in the delivery room!" we are actually just happy that you didn't faint, gag or run screaming out the door.
Beth Malonoski, 34, Norristown, Pennsylvania 
No. 726: 
We will be jealous of any picture of you and another girl on Facebook. It doesn't matter who she is.
Mallory Farmer, 23, Boston 
No. 628: 
We think saying "ladies" at the end of any statement or question makes it kind of creepy.
Aminata Dia, 22, San Jose, California
No. 582: 
If we make it through an entire first date without seeing what color your iPhone case is, well, we just might fall in love.
Dina Sanchez, 29, Brooklyn
No. 340: 
If that piece of clothing does indeed make us look fat, simply say, "It's nice, but you don't look comfortable in it." Most of the time, it's true.
Nicole Lee, 31, San Francisco
No. 361: 
You cleaning your apartment is somehow incredibly sexy. Weird but true.
Amy Keller, 27, Chicago 
No. 313: 
It's cute when you don't quite know how to dress, so long as your not knowing doesn't involve jean shorts or a fanny pack. We can only handle so much eyestrain.
Cassie Rodenberg, 22, Charleston, South Carolina
No. 155: 
It doesn't matter what your chosen profession is, as long as you love what you do and do it with passion, and it's legal and it doesn't involve being in a production of the Lord of the Dance.
Beth Malonoski, 34, Norristown, Pennsylvania 
No. 396: 
We like it when you lend your favorite books to us. For several reasons.
Rose Farnsworth, 19, Nashville
No. 505: 
When we ask you how we look, you lose points every time you answer with "fine."
Dani Ruiz, 21, Encinitas, California 
No. 838: 
It's not that we like the flowers themselves, it's that the flowers mean you're thinking about us. And we love that.
Sherri Pitts, 43, Chino Hills, California
No. 763: 
When we run into an ex, we always play "Who Won?" And in our minds, we always won.
Aminata Dia, 22, San Jose, California 
No. 790: 
Even the slightest idea of fashion can be very attractive.
Kourtney Cole, 22, Chino Hills, California 
No. 748: 
We don't actually wear matching bras and panties all the time. Shocking, we know.
Nicole Lee, 31, San Francisco
No. 535: 
We prefer an arm around us to holding hands pretty much any day.
Aminata Dia, 22, San Jose, California
No. 265: 
The following posters on your wall are deal-breakers: Bob Marley playing soccer, Bob Marley exhaling, Bob Marley in green, yellow and/or red. Exemplars of the chill-bro variety are reserved, exclusively, for unwashed undergrads.
Eve Gleichman, 21, New York. 
No. 673: 
Even we know this: The craziest girls are the ones who seem the most normal at first.
Aminata Dia, 22, San Jose, California 
No. 699: 
We say we love scary movies so we can cuddle up to you.
Alessia Viscomi, 21, Newton, Massachusetts
No. 816: 
Seventy-five percent of the sounds we make during sex are purely for you. That's how much we care.
Rose Farnsworth, 19, Nashville
No. 859: 
We still like being asked on a proper date.
Robin Carol, 21, Eugene 
No. 821: 
Even if we look sad, don't tell us that we look depressed.
Katie Knies, 22, North Salem, New York
No. 533: 
We agonize over text messages. For instance, a one-word response means you're not interested. Right?
Katie Knies, 22, North Salem, New York
No. 433: 
We think the clean-laundry smell of you in your undershirt is a thousand times more appealing than even the best cologne.
Dina Sanchez, 29, Brooklyn
No. 552: 
Quote movies only when absolutely necessary. We like your own words better than those of that old guy on the bridge in Monty Python's The Holy Grail.
Eve Gleichman, 21, New York 
No. 409: 
We love a chase. Not calling all the time gives us a chance to try new things to get your attention.
Alessia Viscomi, 21, Newton, Massachusetts 
No. 231: 
Where do we put on perfume? Where we wish to be kissed.
Adriana Ball, 24, Miami
No. 794: One-armed hugs means we're friends. Two-armed hugs show you care.
No. 861: 
Sometimes wingmen can do more harm than good, so be brave: do it alone.
Aminata Dia, 22, San Jose, California
No. 713: 
Glasses are to women what lingerie is to men. That's right: Bookish is that sexy.
Cassie Rodenberg, 22, Charleston, South Carolina
No. 355: 
Everything sounds better when whispered close to our ear.
Katie Knies, 22, North Salem, New York
No. 256: 
We'll judge your beer: opting for something better than Bud Light shows us you care about the finer things in life.
Eve Gleichman, 21, New York



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