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I’m going to go out on a limb and make the assumption that anyone saying, “representative” into their phone isn’t having a good day.
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Every Christmas, thousands of guys actually fall for that, “Oh, you don’t have to get me anything this year, honey” line. Poor saps.
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The good thing about having a runny nose during the holidays is that you don’t have to lick all those stamps and envelopes when you send out cards
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Hmmm. I’m beginning to have the sneaking suspicion that the guy who cheated on his first wife with his second, and then cheated on her with his third, and then cheated on her with a porn actress, and then lied about paying hush money, and then said the hush money payments were legal might not actually be a good Christian.
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Dear Santa,
I can explain.
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Yesterday I wore something from 10 years ago and it actually fit!! So proud of myself!
It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here!
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A lot of people have been comparing Trump to Hitler, which is sort of a false comparison. Trump is nowhere near as focused as Hitler was.
Now Caligula, on the other hand, is a different story. I could easily see Trump spending the national treasury on monuments to his own ego and hosting lavish incestual orgies while the empire crumbles around him.
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It has come to my attention that, at or around this time last year, I may have dared 2018 to “come at me, bro,” and it did.
Dear New Year: I don’t want any trouble. Just put down that broken bottle and let’s just get along.
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We’ve almost made it through an entire calendar year without Game of Thrones. We’re stronger than we give ourselves credit for
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