Cool Tats

Website Wednesday 16.47

Website Wednesday
a subsidiary of Skip's House of Chaos
(The 234,453rd Most Interesting Man in the World)
 
"From the Large Intestine of the Internets,
through the Sphincter of Electronic Mail,
peeing like a baby on a changing table
into the brisk digital wind..."  

                    It’s never too late to follow your dreams.

                    Unless your dream is to be a child actor,

                    in which case, yes, it absolutely is too late.

Top of the heap:  I'm going. Who's with me? Plan a Trip Now to See the 2017 Solar Eclipse (Thanks, Melody!)

Men of Steel: 11 Actors Who Have Played Superman

NASA probe captures breathtaking pictures of dwarf planet Ceres

What Happens When You Stop Drinking

The Magical Creature Quiz  (I got 6/10. I'm a Hermione Granger)

Transcript Of Hamilton Cast’s Statement To Mike Pence

How to Shuffle Poker Chips Like a Poker Pro

10 Archaeological Mysteries of the United States

5 Ways Your Appearance Could Ruin Your Career

A Hypnotic, Interactive Map Predicts Migration as Animals Become Climate Refugees

How Donald Trump will run the country, according to Trevor Noah

Welcome to the Big House - Interesting facts about prisons and jails (and the difference between them)

Answers guaranteed to made rude people wish they hadn't asked, "How did you get that scar?"

The World’s Most Repeated TV Program

Christmas Movies and TV Show Schedule 2016

The 17 Most Influential Science Fiction Books

The science of survival in Antarctica (pay attention, Will)

The Catholic Church has a new phone app for making a confession

A catchy little remix that puts a song on Negan's lips. A special for Walking Dead fans only.

How to write an A+ term paper

Game of Thrones, explained in five minutes


Love you, mean it. Let's do lunch. Have your people call my people. Ciao, bella. 
- Skip    ಠ_ಠ

 Website Wednesday archives

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Oh Albus, you scamp!

(via)

Good Friends and Best Friends

(via)

This kid is going places...

...probably Juvie.


Smartass.

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

Such number as may be deemed to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as “Lawyer,” and the party of the second part, also known as “Light Bulb,” do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed-upon duties, i.e., the illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entryway, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties. The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following steps: 1.) The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation, at his option, by means of a chair, stepstool, ladder, or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a counterclockwise direction, said direction being non- negotiable. Said grasping and rotation of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be undertaken by the party of the first part (Lawyer) with every reasonable caution by the party of the first part (Lawyer) to maintain the structural integrity of the party of the second part (Light Bulb), notwithstanding the aforementioned failure of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) to perform the aforementioned customary and agreed-upon duties. The foregoing notwithstanding, however, both parties stipulate that structural failure of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) may be incidental to the aforementioned failure to perform, and in such case the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall be held blameless for such structural failure insofar as this agreement is concerned so long as the non-negotiable directional codicil (counterclockwise) is observed by the party of the first part (Lawyer) throughout. 2.) Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light Bulb) becomes separated from the party of the third part (“Receptacle”), the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable state, local, and federal statutes. 3.) Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation of the party of the fourth part (“New Light Bulb”). This installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in Step 1 of this document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, said direction also being non-negotiable. NOTE: The above-described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part (Lawyer), by said party of the first part (Lawyer), by his heirs and assigns, or by any and all persons authorized by him to do so, the objective being to produce a level of illumination in the immediate vicinity of the aforementioned front (north) door consistent with maximization of commerce and revenue for the party of the fifth part, also known as “The Firm.”

Tunesmith Tuesday - When A Man Loves A Woman" by Joshua Ledet

At In Performance a the White House: Memphis Soul on July 25, 2013. Accompanied by the White House Band.

Reason #62,342 - Why I Love Bacon

(Obliged, Dennis!)

It's that time of year... again...

Monday Mind Game - The Locked Room

The store room of your house is locked with a certain lock that can be closed without a key but requires a key to open (which you own, and there is no duplicate key). 

You decide to move your old stuff in the storeroom. After keeping the things carefully, you lock it back up again perfectly. 

The next day, a dead body is found in your closed store room. Since only you have the key to the store room and you live alone, the police suspect you as the murderer. 

You can’t understand what happened until a thought occurs to you. There is a possible way using which the dead body could have been placed by someone else.

Can you find that way so you can tell the police and prove yourself to be innocent?




Give up?

Drag your cursor between the asterisks for the answer

*

When you were inside the shed, the murderer replaced the lock with his own one that was identical to your original lock. When you locked the store room, you didn't require a key and there was nothing abnormal for you. When you left, the murderer opened the lock with his key, planted the dead body inside, and replaced the lock again putting the original lock in its place. He then closed it without any problem.

*

Uh oh...

(via)

Those pesky questions

Happy Monday, Little Ducks!

And, yet even MORE occasions where it's perfectly acceptable to drop an F-bomb

I'm going to miss Joe, too...

A map of every pub in the United Kingdom

(via)

I keep seeing these signs everywhere

A Dramatic Reading by Morgan Freeman

The Centipede

A man buys a centipede from a pet store. He takes it home and sets it up in its aquarium, and lets it get settled in for a while. After a few hours the guy gets bored and goes up to the centipede and asks, "hey, centipede, you wanna go out and get a drink, check out the ladies? You know, just hang out?" But the centipede doesn't say anything. The guy thinks, "Hmmm, it must be getting used to its new environment or whatever," and he goes to bed.

The next day after work, the guy's watching TV and he gets bored, so he goes up to the centipede again and taps on the aquarium glass, and says "Hey, centipede, you wanna go out, get a drink, maybe check out the ladies? Just hang out or whatever?" and the centipede doesn't say anything. The guys thinks, "That's weird, I wonder if it's sick or something. I’m not sure how centipedes are supposed to act, I guess." He shrugs it off and goes to bed.

The third day, after work, the guy gets bored watching TV and goes to the centipede again, this time getting a little exasperated. "HEY! CENTIPEDE! Do you wanna go out and get a DRINK, check out the LADIES or something?" and the centipede yells back, "I heard you the first time, man! I'm getting my shoes on!"